Gotham City Digest, New Year's edition
(In which we promise never to yell at you in all caps)
Last night, a Fox astrologer said Trump will have two guardian angels looking over him. And one of them, I'm sure, is Putin. Maybe he'll warble "Blueberry Hill" to him while he's in solitary.Trump's new acting SecDef once tried to strongarm the Pentagon into buying his outdated F-15s. Yeah, he'll fit in perfectly with this self-interested kakistocracy.
Imagine publicly telling 15 lies a day for an entire year? God only knows how many he made privately.
And we all know Trump lies. But how, exactly, does he? Let us count the ways...
Why does this asshole Pete King's district keep reelecting him? I mean, he's said some stupid shit in the past but comparing the deaths of those two Guatemalan children to living in the NY projects may top them all.
Meanwhile, Paul LePage wrote "stolen election" on the certification document for Jared Golden's congressional victory. Stolen election? Golden's election victory was decided by Ranked Choice Voting (Maine is the only state to use it, which is probably the most precise and democratic voting system in the nation. The, after vandalizing the document like a tenth rate Banksie, LePage then took a picture of it and posted it on his Twitter account. Don't let the door hit your fat ass on the way, douchebag.
During his tweet storm setting fire to the new year, Trump, decided to attack yet another general after two of them just quit working for him.
Fucking morons. These Trump voters in Ohio who just lost their GM jobs think that now, after two years in office, Trump will magically come out of the dugout like Roy Hobbes, go to bat for them and hit one out of the park for the team. Seriously?
When I read exhaustive analyses like this (hideously riddled with typos though it is), I'm gladder than ever Clinton didn't get back in the White House. Bribes, lying propaganda, Sanders votes scrubbed from machines during audits, Slick Willie with his megaphone right outside polling places here in MA, spiked coin tosses, scrubbed Sanders delegates in Nevada and the abominable way they were treated at the convention all point to a massive criminal conspiracy that in the end miserably failed to a grifter who didn't even think he would win.
If Hillary tries to run again, expect more dirty tricks like this in 2020. Because the Democrats learned absolutely nothing from the walkout at the convention and the loss in the general election.
Just to address Pelosi's toothless committee on climate change that won't even have subpoena power, I couldn't understand then or now why Ocasio-Cortez immediately supported Pelosi as House Speaker. Maybe this will wake her up and make her change her mind. And this sick joke of a climate change committee is just one of many, many reasons why Pelosi shouldn't be Speaker again.
We still don't know more than a tiny fraction that Mueller has dug up since May last year. But this summation by NBC doesn't paint a rosy picture of Trump's future.
Mocking Parkland survivors and non-binary people is the moment Louis CK turned into Dennis Miller.
Trump thinks he might get impeached. Light dawns on Marblehead.
Sore loser Claire McCaskill, who generated no enthusiasm during her final campaign, doesn't understand the value of enthusiasm. But Ocasio-Cortez isn't having any of it. We need Blue Dogs like McCaskill about as much as Bob Marley needed another type of cancer. Good riddance.
Everyone in this feces-flecked administration was and is still compromised. Trump, Kushner, Flynn. And like the vultures they are, the Russians swooped in and took full advantage. Why should Manafort be any different?
No, to be honest, it IS a wall, John Kelly, you racist asshole.
Meanwhile, after throwing them out of work with his temper tantrum or making them work without pay, Trump then decided to freeze pay for all federal workers. This asshole's gotta go and I don't even care how it happens as long as it does.
While Trump is screaming about funding for that medieval wall, it seems Mexican smugglers are more technologically progressive than us. Their tunnels have a rail system, ventilation and even solar-powered lights. Maybe Trumpie can't get Mexico to pay for the wall but maybe he can do the next best thing and hire Mexicans to build it.
If there's one man in this world I loathe more than Trump and Dave Chadwick, it's Jeffrey fucking Epstein. The two of them raped a 13 year-old girl in Epstein's apartment. They were sued twice over it. Both times they skated. And this is the story how he managed to do that a decade ago.
And while scumbags like Jeffrey Epstein are skating away scot free after committing felonies such as child rape, migrants who commit no more than misdemeanors are imprisoned for years and getting used as slaves. We could keep the for-profit prison system bloated just by giving them these well-heeled sexual predators.
Slate: "That the president of the United States asked his acting attorney general to rein in prosecutors who are investigating the president’s conduct is mind-boggling. For Trump, prosecutors who do their job are rogues. " And finally...
We should all have Moms like this one who gave out free hugs at her local Pride parade to LGBT kids who were rejected by their own parents.
posted by jurassicpork @ Tuesday, January 01, 2019
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