WI Legislature Votes Blacks Must be Precuffed and Pretased For Law Enforcement.

Acceptable posture: Compliant negroes take a leisurely crawl through downtown Madison.

Madison, WI -- Coming on the tail end of a raft of Draconian legislation from the legislative body, the GOP-dominated Wisconsin Senate ratified the "2015 Black Empowerment Act". A nearly identical bill sailed through the lower chamber albeit votes being cast along party lines.

     The bill, if signed into law by Governor and presidential candidate Scott Walker, would mandate all Wisconsin African Americans, including those officially judged to be "Octaroon", be precuffed and even pretased prior to being approached by law enforcement.

     "I bet you thought we were being sarcastic again when we named this bill, huh?" said Assembly Speaker Pro Tempore Tyler August (R-Lake Geneva). "But there you'd be wrong. The 'empowerment' part comes in with the newly-established neutered state of the negroes."

     Speaker Pro Tempore August further went on to say this is a necessary and humane solution to the recent spate of unarmed African Americans who have been shot by law enforcement or "well-meaning law enforcement sympathizers" such as George Zimmerman.

    "With the liberal press yammering on about Tamir Rice this and Trayvon Martin that, this legislative body felt it was time to take some firm, decisive and, we think, bold action that should curb the understandable fears of our courageous law enforcement professionals who piss their pants at the sight of an unencumbered negro."

     According to the language of the bill, officially known as S215,

     "Any individual of African American descent or anyone darker than, say, Nikki Haley, if outside will be required to have their hands cuffed behind their backs either with metal handcuffs or zip ties. In addition, ankles must be cuffed with no more than 12 inches of space between the inside of the feet. If approached by law enforcement, the suspects must voluntarily tase themselves with a state-approved taser emitting no less than 30,000 volts. A completely supine, face-down position is also required."

     Lt. Governor Rebecca Kleefisch hailed the measure, sneering at "liberal gossip about how it's demeaning to blacks", adding, "How is a bill designed to keep unarmed blacks from getting shot in the back as they flee during a traffic stop, as we saw with the Walter Scott shooting, a bad or racist thing?

     "Just think if Trayvon Martin had been hopping back to his Dad's house, his iced tea and Skittles behind him, already rendered completely unable to defend himself against the much larger George Zimmerman? Mr. Zimmerman wouldn't have given him a second look or, at most, he would've called 911 and let SWAT handle the little thug."

     US Rep. and former GOP Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan, issued a press release about the new bill saying, "Tamir Rice would be looking forward to finishing middle school in Cleveland right now if the toy gun he'd been brandishing at frightened white people had been a Taser International taser. That way, if he'd shocked himself into complete submission and would have been twitching on his stomach, Officer Timothy Loehmann would've thought twice, maybe three times, about shooting the child less than two seconds after arriving to confront the threat he represented."

     It's unknown at press time if Governor Walker plans to return to the state Capitol in Madison to sign the bill but the Governor's campaign did say to Redstate.org that, "Hopefully, this bill will become just the first of many to be enacted across the nation such as Stand Your Ground, open carry laws and voter fraud measures favored by the Koch Brothers." (A later version of the press release deleted the Koch brothers' name and quietly replaced with "real Americans.")
     Law enforcement bodies across Wisconsin condemned the bill, saying it doesn't go far enough in allaying their fears of Angry Black Man Syndrome.
     "Nothing less than a full body cast will do," said the President of the Milwaukee Fraternal Order of Policemen.