Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Gotham City Digest, Emperor Penguin edition

What we flush, the right wing elects president.

     So, Trump likes to fuck women with "horse faces". Ann Coulter, there's hope for you, yet.

     And America breathlessly waits to see if the Trumps can keep the magic alive.

     No doubt, Orange Julius Caesar will give himself an A+ for rescuing Florida after Hurricane Michael, too.

     ICE just gave a nearly $200 million contract to a bunch of con men who'd lost several other contracts and is currently under investigation for locking up immigrant kids in an abandoned office building. There's something skeevy going on between ICE and MVM. Perhaps someone should start investigating senior ICE officials and their connections with MVM.

     Murderous twat. "I shot a whole family of baboons," boasts a human baboon who also happens to be the Fish & Game Commissioner of Idaho. Or rather, he was before he was forced to resign.

     I will say I will give Trump $1 million to his favorite charity (which is the Trump Foundation), paid for by Crawford, if he takes the test and it shows he's a human.

     Of course more Republicans would be against interracial marriage even more than a half a century after Loving vs Virginia. It would've been interesting to see the regional breakdown, although I wouldn't've been surprised to see the overwhelming majority opposed were south of Mason Dixon. To paraphrase John Stuart Mill, I'm not saying all Republicans are racist but it seems that all racists are Republican.

     In reality, none of those Republicans would want anything to do with him and the Bushes have already skeeved him. Teddy Roosevelt and maybe Lincoln would've literally taken him to the woodshed.

     American history has shown time and again we tolerate right wing violence and disruption much more readily than that on the left. Civility is for wimps in times such as these. When right wingers demand civility from the left, they're really demanding our servility. They want to be able to bring guns and knives to a street fight while demanding we bring nerf bats and pillows.
      Someone should take Bernie aside and remind him of the violence his Socialist forebears endured and waged in their fight for economic parity. No revolution was ever won by the timid and meek. (Tip o' the tinfoil hat to Constant Reader CC.)

     This is like something out of a Coen Brothers movie. First come the cleaners, then the real cleaners just before the detectives. The Saudi Consulate's dumpster must be a horror show.

     Come on, you didn't think Trump would so easily give up on separating families at the border, did you?

     Shorter Romney in irritating stereotypical white man voice: "What is this Never Trump of which you speak, stranger?"

     This is the start of the Purge. Thank y'all for participating and helping to make a stronger, whiter America.

     Just as I'd predicted, Trump's already welching on the bet he made with Elizabeth Warren, claiming he never made it. But there's video tape proving he did on July 5th, in Montana.

     You wanted a sociopath, Florida. You got one. Take heart, though. Maybe in a couple of weeks, he'll show up with a phalanx of reporters and throw paper towels at you.

     With this asshole, it's all about winning. Nominating and confirming a Supreme Court justice shouldn't be about winning. It should be about putting the best legal minds on the High Court. Yet this is what he told Leslie Stahl on 60 Minutes.

     God damn, Republicans are such nasty, arrogant twats, aren't they? Meet GA Senator David Perdue, who likes to steal cell phones. That's something a stupid dog does when it doesn't have enough to occupy him.

     You know what's a headline I'd love to see but never will? MEN WARNED NOT TO RAPE WOMEN.

     Puts a new spin on the phrase, "Your ass is grass and I'm the lawn mower," huh?

     “Chain migration is bad,” says the racist asshole whose wife and in laws have benefited greatly from chain migration.

     I think it's abundantly obvious why this Mormon douchebag asked only women to stay off the internet and their cell phones just before the midterms.

     "Are Republicans Protecting Election Integrity?"?! I can't believe we're seriously asking this question out loud. Since when have Republicans ever given a shit about election integrity? Republicans have closed 1081 polling places just since 2012, including 403 in Texas alone. Republicans hate paper ballots and had lobbied hard in the 90's for electronic voting machines with lousy to nonexistent firewalls for the simple reason that they can be hacked. So let's stop these ridiculous attempts at fairness and nonpartisanship and stop giving Republicans the benefit of the doubt. They're crooks who know they can't win elections unless they cheat and one can call them out on their chicanery without being liberals or Democrats.

     I don't know what's this "new Democratic Party" Holder's talking about but historically, when Republicans go low, establishment Democrats go lower and suck them off. But I'm all in for kicking Republicans both literally and figuratively and the Bush-loving Michelle Obama can go fuck herself. I think we've heard enough out of that family for a decade, thank you.

     Gee, look at that. They're all red states deep in the South. What're the odds? With the southern GOP, about 100%.

     So, let me get this straight- The Headquarters of the New York City Republican Party invites a middle aged, homophobic frat boy thug who surrounds himself with much younger male thugs who was involved in Charlottesville last year and uses initiation hazing rituals very much like the MS-13 with which Trump is obsessed, 30 of them beat up three Antifa protesters like the cowardly wimps they are, right outside NYC GOP HQ, and none of them get arrested even though police were present?
      I'd love to meet some of these Proud Boys in person. They won't be so proud after I meet them. And finally...

     Sigh. Our young Republicans grow up so fast, don't they?


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