Thursday, August 18, 2011

The Little Sow's Ear That Could


Dear Danny Boy:

Man, you sure know how to pick 'em. Like, wow. How much positive publicity will your new client, masturbation Nazi Christine O'Donnell's ghost-written book, Troublemaker, get after she walked away from a high profile interview on Piers Morgan's show on CNN the day after St. Martin's fast-tracked her book past other worthy titles represented by your agency? I'm speaking, of course, of future English class fodder such as Always a Witch (IMHO, a more suitable title for Ms. O'Donnell's book than the more eponymous Troublemaker) and Crossroads (featuring on its cover a half-nude Sarah Palin going after a Caribou with a crossbow).

How much easier will it now be for Ms. O'Donnell's media liaison to get more high-profile media exposure after she'd shown the heroic qualities that would've made her, give a measly 17 points, a Tea Bagging member of the United States Senate? The poor woman is so busy pimping her new book that she can't even stay in her seat before having a flak stand in front of a camera while she modestly disrobes herself of her earpiece and clip-on microphone. If nothing else, perhaps this ought to teach lolly-gagging phone hackers such as Piers Morgan to get on the ball and ask his Gotcha questions before she flits off the sound stage at the very mention of teh gays.

It's surprising that such a literary luminary such as Christine O'Donnell isn't included in your client list of other scribblers of deathless prose such as Penn & Teller, Cedric the Entertainer and everybody's favorite conservative, Stephen Colbert.

And I hope that you do the right thing by Ms. Donnell and defend your client from the shabby treatment she'd received tonight by giving Piers Morgan a piece of your mind (actually, a text to anyone else will do. One way or the other, he'll read it.). Because God knows the woman needs a payday until the next election cycle when she can once again live off campaign contributions "magic money" under the nose of the FEC and with the blessings of the Justice Department.

So keep sending out those form rejection letters to the rest of us who have readily apparent talent and can actually write our own books. Who needs literacy, Danny Boy, when right wing whining about the liberal media costing Tea Baggers elections by quoting them ver batim can rake in so much more moolah in the short term?

But as incidentally lucrative as flash-in-the-pan book deals are (even though the 15 minute flash pretty much fizzled out about nine months ago), it must give you an even warmer feeling in the pit of your stomach akin to a Mexican dinner in Andrew Breitbart's gut at midnight that you singlehandedly, in the generous and selfless act of body-tackling Ms. O'Donnell, turned a sow's ear into a silk purse. Ms. O'Donnell, if nothing else, will remain an enduring inspiration to every right winger who aspires to be an author in spite of not being qualified to draw a hopscotch grid with sidewalk chalk.

Your humble and obedient servant,

JP

P. S. Crissy's book has collected quite a lot of surprising and unexpected tags from meanie lib'rals. Go to her Amazon page and check it out. The top 9 tags are: keeping america stupid, nut job, dishonest, witches, wingnut welfare, political grifter, grifter, paying bills is for little people and, ironically, dildo.

2 Comments:

At August 18, 2011 at 1:23 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Apparently, Danny Boy, she's doing it again because it works. Doing the Palin thing and quitting in the middle of an interview except when on a Fox soundstage is actually making her book sale rank on Amazon go up. Isn't this country great, when people bolster the economy by buying gossip books by post-literate political failures virtually sight unseen?

 
At August 21, 2011 at 9:36 AM, Blogger Zarathustra said...

Chritine O'donnell, what a f**King joke! If money wasn't so tight, I'd buy her book just to jerk off on it!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

KindleindaWind, my writing blog.

All Time Classics

  • Our Worse Half: The 25 Most Embarrassing States.
  • The Missing Security Tapes From the World Trade Center.
  • It's a Blunderful Life.
  • The Civil War II
  • Sweet Jesus, I Hate America
  • Top Ten Conservative Books
  • I Am Mr. Ed
  • Glenn Beck: Racist, Hate Monger, Comedian
  • The Ten Worst Music Videos of all Time
  • Assclowns of the Week

  • Links to the first 33 Assclowns of the Week.
  • Links to Assclowns of the Week 38-63.
  • #106: The Turkey Has Landed edition
  • #105: Blame it on Paris or Putin edition
  • #104: Make Racism Great Again Also Labor Day edition
  • #103: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Toilet edition
  • #102: Orange is the New Fat edition
  • #101: Electoral College Dropouts edition
  • #100: Centennial of Silliness edition
  • #99: Dr. Strangehate edition
  • #98: Get Bentghazi edition
  • #97: SNAPping Your Fingers at the Poor edition
  • #96: Treat or Treat, Kiss My Ass edition
  • #95: Monumental Stupidity double-sized edition
  • #94: House of 'Tards edition
  • #93: You Da Bomb! edition.
  • #92: Akin to a Fool edition.
  • #91: Aurora Moronealis edition.
  • #90: Keep Your Gubmint Hands Off My High Pre'mums and Deductibles! edition.
  • #89: Occupy the Catbird Seat/Thanksgiving edition.
  • #88: Heil Hitler edition.
  • #87: Let Sleeping Elephants Lie edition.
  • #86: the Maniacs edition.
  • #85: The Top 50 Assclowns of 2010 edition.
  • #(19)84: Midterm Madness edition.
  • #83: Spill, Baby, Spill! edition.
  • #82: Leave Corporations Alone, They’re People! edition.
  • #81: Hatin' on Haiti edition.
  • #80: Don't Get Your Panties in a Twist edition.
  • #79: Top 50 Assclowns of 2009 edition.
  • #78: Nattering Nabobs of Negativism edition.
  • #77: ...And Justice For Once edition.
  • #76: Reading Tea Leaves/Labor Day edition.
  • #75: Diamond Jubilee/Inaugural Edition
  • #74: Dropping the Crystal Ball Edition
  • #73: The Twelve Assclowns of Christmas Edition
  • #72: Trick or Treat Election Day Edition
  • #71: Grand Theft Autocrats Edition
  • #70: Soulless Corporations and the Politicians Who Love Them Edition
  • Empire Of The Senseless.
  • Christwire.org: Conservative Values for an Unsaved World.
  • Esquire's Charles Pierce.
  • Brilliant @ Breakfast.
  • The Burning Platform.
  • The Rant.
  • Mock, Paper, Scissors.
  • James Petras.
  • Towle Road.
  • Avedon's Sideshow (the new site).
  • At Largely, Larisa Alexandrovna's place.
  • The Daily Howler.
  • The DCist.
  • Greg Palast.
  • Jon Swift. RIP, Al.
  • God is For Suckers.
  • The Rude Pundit.
  • Driftglass.
  • Newshounds.
  • William Grigg, a great find.
  • Brad Blog.
  • Down With Tyranny!, Howie Klein's blog.
  • Wayne's World. Party time! Excellent!
  • Busted Knuckles, aka Ornery Bastard.
  • Mills River Progressive.
  • Right Wing Watch.
  • Earthbond Misfit.
  • Anosognosia.
  • Echidne of the Snakes.
  • They Gave Us a Republic.
  • The Gawker.
  • Outtake Online, Emmy-winner Charlotte Robinson's site.
  • Skippy, the Bush Kangaroo
  • No More Mr. Nice Blog.
  • Head On Radio Network, Bob Kincaid.
  • Spocko's Brain.
  • Pandagon.
  • Slackivist.
  • WTF Is It Now?
  • No Blood For Hubris.
  • Lydia Cornell, a very smart and accomplished lady.
  • Roger Ailes (the good one.)
  • BlondeSense.
  • The Smirking Chimp.
  • Hammer of the Blogs.
  • Vast Left Wing Conspiracy.
  • Argville.
  • Existentialist Cowboy.
  • The Progressive.
  • The Nation.
  • Mother Jones.
  • Vanity Fair.
  • Salon.com.
  • Citizens For Legitimate Government.
  • News Finder.
  • Indy Media Center.
  • Lexis News.
  • Military Religious Freedom.
  • McClatchy Newspapers.
  • The New Yorker.
  • Bloggingheads TV, political vlogging.
  • Find Articles.com, the next-best thing to Nexis.
  • Altweeklies, for the news you won't get just anywhere.
  • The Smirking Chimp
  • Don Emmerich's Peace Blog
  • Wikileaks.
  • The Peoples' Voice.
  • Dictionary.com.
  • CIA World Fact Book.
  • IP address locator.
  • Tom Tomorrow's hilarious strip.
  • Babelfish, an instant, online translator. I love to translate Ann Coulter's site into German.
  • Newsmeat: Find out who's donating to whom.
  • Wikipedia.
  • Uncyclopedia.
  • anysoldier.com
  • Icasualties
  • Free Press
  • YouTube
  • The Bone Bridge.
  • Powered by Blogger